Monday, 16 June 2014

To clean or not to clean....

So a lot of changes have happened in my life recently. (for those that don't know) The biggest one is I married the man my soul was made for in October. A lot of people around me keep telling me, O you're still in the honeymoon phase, or you're still newlyweds those butterflies will fade. And it just irritates me! I know my husband has character builders (that's how I like to refer to flaws, I hate the word flaws). Yes he can get on my nerves and make me want to scream, but what good would it do me? I accept him as he is, character builders and all. Everyday I work on being a better wife. Do I succeed? Most of the time, no. I am as human as anyone else, but I try. Because to me, that's what marriage is all about. Even when we fail, at the end of the day it's love that holds us together.

For example, the other day Jose was at work and I was home by myself. The house was a disaster so I cleaned it. Did the dishes, scrubbed the bathroom, changed the linens, etc. etc. The entire time I was fuming to myself Jose NEVER cleans the bathroom, Jose NEVER vacuums, changes the linens, or puts away his clothes. Why do I always have to do all of this? If I didn't do it, it would never get done! And as I was standing on my bed angrily trying to make the sheet go over the corner I looked up and I saw the picture on the wall. You know what I did? I cried. I cried because I was so ashamed of myself. This wasn't about Jose and all the things he doesn't do around the house, it was about me and my own self gratification. I was gently reminded of all the things Jose does that I take for granted, yet he never complains.

For instance, when we get to have dinner together and he cooks (he usually is the one that cooks) he always serves me. He hands me my plate full of food, my napkin, my drink, and my silverware. Then he serves himself last and after dinner he cleans the kitchen. Never once has he complained, he does it out of love. Because LOVE IS SELFLESS. Now back to my cleaning story. After I got done crying and fighting my pride, I started cleaning the rest of the house and thanking God for all the blessings he gives to me. Number one being my husband.

Instead of cleaning the house all angry, I try now to clean it because my husband helps provide for me. It's with his help and hard work that I am even able to have the things I have. It's my way of saying thank you to him. He doesn't ever expect me to clean, he doesn't ever ask me to clean. So why did I get so angry when I cleaned on my own free will? Because I was being selfish. I wanted to "teach my husband a lesson and make him feel guilty."  That day, love taught ME a lesson. It hurt, but lesson learned. I hope I never leave the honeymoon phase of my marriage and 50 years down the road people will be saying "I can't believe they are still in their honeymoon phase after all these years." All because love is.....

LOVE IS....NOT SELF SEEKING.