Sunday, 8 May 2016

Mother's Day

Today I'm going to share with you a story. A story that I hope you will see as inspirational. For those of you reading, and you know my story, you know that my intentions are not for pity, but to inspire. For those of you reading and you don't know my story, that's ok, I hope this still touches your life in some way.

 I woke up this morning and I read this verse as I always do on Mother's Day and Father's day. My childhood story is not a happy one, I grew up in a very toxic environment that left me a complete shattered mess of a person emotionally, mentally, and physically. And by the time I reached 25 I had decided I had had enough. I haven't spoken to my foster mother in 4 years, or anyone in my family (except my brother and biological mom). Which has actually helped me heal in the most amazing way and I am proud of who I have become and what I have overcome. God has opened my eyes to so many things that I thought were my fault, all the lies I was told growing up, and that my foster mother is a very mentally sick woman. I was able to forgive myself, her, and the rest of my family for the things they did to me. Which is why I can share this blog entry with you.

I used to struggle with Mother's Day. I hated it and I would spend all day feeling sorry for myself and being jealous of everyone that had loving Mothers they can wish a Happy Mother's day to. Why? Mostly because of my childhood, and because when I was 18 my foster mother gave me a huge box full of all my school and baby pictures along with every mother's day card and any other card I ever made for her. Told me, I wasn't really her daughter, so she doesn't want these things anymore. I was devastated. I still have all of that stuff in a box in my garage. I look at it from time to time, mostly on Mother's day.


Well this week, I pulled all of this stuff out as I usually do (I'm a very nostalgic person if you haven't noticed) and I came across this photo and my heart flooded with happy memories and the tears just flowed. I realized Mother's Day isn't about making cards and giving gifts, it's about these two women for me.

So this Mother's Day, instead of thinking about the Mother I never had growing up, I want to tell you about the women God placed in my life to be a Mother to me.

The lady on the left with the beautiful smile and a face that radiates with love and joy....that's my Mama K. Her name is really Kamante (I know, it's a beautiful name). God put her in my life at a very crucial time. I met her at church my freshman/sophomore year of High School and ever since then, she has been a very steady rock in my ever rocky life. She has shown me how to love God and other people. She has prayed with me at the altar, cried with me, helped me to laugh in the face of fear, encouraged me to pursue God's calling on my life, and has loved me even through all the times I messed up. She's always had my back when I thought I was alone, she saw everything I went through at home and was my prayer warrior for God's protection over me, she has opened up her home to me when I had nowhere else to go and has only asked that I never forget my first love, Jesus. If anyone knows my heart, it's this woman. I still go to her for advice to this day, when something good happens, I tell my mama K. I wouldn't be who I am today without her constant prayers. So Mama K, Happy Mother's Day. I love you more than words could ever express. Thank you for opening your heart for this little gal to take refuge in. For inviting me to be a part of your amazing family, and for helping me to not become the very thing that I despise. You are forever a part of my heart and will always be my Mama K.

Now on to the other beautiful lady on the right with the blond hair and the radiant smile. That's my  Mama Edie (and her husband Tim next to her). I also officially met her at the same time I met Mama K, but I saw her at other churches when she would sing as a guest. I loved her voice the moment I heard her sing. And she showed me what real worship was. She is the reason I wanted to follow my heart and be a worship leader. If this woman knows how to do anything, it's to sing praises to Jesus and to worship him. I was there at her son Matt's funeral, she sat in the front row right by his casket. We had his funeral in the church and we had a praise and worship time. During that time, I was on the stage and I looked up during a song, everyone was still sitting but Mama Edie was standing with her arms raised to heaven worshiping God. She was at her own son's funeral and was the only one standing and worshiping. In that moment I saw what worship was really about. It's not about us, it's always about our Heavenly Father and even in our grief we must worship him because he is HOLY. I will never ever forget that moment. It has helped me to worship my Jesus in the very worst of times, and guess what, when I surrender to him and I am engulfed in his presence, my problems and pain disappear. Mama Edie has also been a prayer warrior for me and has opened up her home and her heart for me to take refuge in. You have forever made an impact on my life. So to Mama Edie, Happy Mother's day. Thank you for loving me in spite of my flaws and for bringing me closer to Jesus just by being that example. Thank you for helping me to become better, not bitter. I love you always.

Happy Mother's Day you two. I love you and I would not be who I am without you. You have made a difference in this gals life for the better.
Thank you for loving me and for taking me into your families as one of your own. But mostly, thank you for seeing the beauty in my brokenness, and for helping to piece me back together with your wisdom, encouragement, and love. It's the glue that holds me together to this day.

With all of my love forever,
Your daughter Melissa xoxoxo